I Should Be Rich

Above average, yet less than genius

The trouble with being me is that I am such a paradox. I’m motivated, yet lazy. I enjoy word problems but I hate math. On another note, I also fall just short of being at any “competitive” level – I am pretty, but not exceptionally gorgeous. I can draw very well, but not well enough to be a professional artist.

The important paradox relevant to this post (and blog, really) is that I am talented, smart, have a decent full time job but I am broke.

Heck, I’m smart- I graduated college with a B.S. when I was 18! So why am I broke?

Well, you say, you’re an average American – spending more than you make. My friends and parents (okay, my best friend and my mom) say it’s because I’m a philanthropist. Really, when I sit down and look at my personal spending budget it appears that I should have enough money for my lifestyle. But I tend to  splurge on little gifts for friends and family here and there, and I guess that all adds up.

Again, with the philanthropy, is another paradox. I’m not your selfless volunteer spending all my time in shelters, or giving huge donations to nonprofits. It’s the little things that get me. The sad look on my little sister’s face when she realizes she doesn’t have enough cash for lunch. How depressed my friend sounded on the phone, and oh how a card would probably brighten her day!

…but that was just a rant. I feel like I’m smart, a little more brainy than your average Joe walking the streets, and I can see how I could be so much more than I am. Then I meet the person one level up from me – and I am blown away! It’s like I’m just smart enough to truly appreciate intelligence, but true intelligence is just out of my reach. Right when I think I’ve had a break through, I realize I’m reinventing the wheel or there is a much simpler solution.

When will I be able to figure these things out? Why can’t I be someone great?

This post has turned into something of a nonsensical rambling of my fundemental frustrations, which I struggle with day in and out, hopefully someone can relate.